


Writing Prompts: December 2017

by RedPineTree



Series: Crack!fics [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (technically 31), 30 Days of Writing, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Author loves cats, Avengers Family, Awesome Clint Barton, BAMF Bruce Banner, BAMF Tony Stark, Brain Banner’s A+ Parenting, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bullying, Christmas, Clint Barton Does What He Wants, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Clint Barton is a Little Shit, Crack Treated Seriously, Dog Cops, Esablished Relationships, Established Tony Stark/Bruce Banner, Excessive use of Christmas, How Do I Tag, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Kittens, M/M, Natasha can't cook, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paintball, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Phil Is a Good Bro, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Avengers, Protective Tony Stark, Read the Author's Notes, Seriously. Lots of losing bets, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, author can’t science, losing bets, really though, vague science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 12,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12887037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPineTree/pseuds/RedPineTree
Summary: Basically the author was bored and needed to do more writing practice, so looked up prompts. 31 prompts for 31 days of December.OR:31 days of Science Bros





	1. 1: Battery Operated

**Author's Note:**

> Regret comes in many forms. 
> 
>  
> 
> This is one of them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1: Battery Operated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t think there’s any...warnings for this one? Other than Tony’s self-hating thoughts.

_Day 1: Battery Operated_

It was dark in their room, about 4 am when Tony woke up. _(Sweating, fearful and half-plea dying in his throat.)_

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Bruce asked, a knowing look in his brown _(brown, honey yet sweeter)_ eyes, but Tony shook his head, rather inquiring, “What are you doing up at this time?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Your shirt was off and-“ And now Tony understood. The awful _(goddamn horrible, bright, bright blue)_ night-light in his chest was keeping his boyfriend from sleeping.

“Oh. You should have told me.” Tony semi-snapped, legs swinging out from underneath the _(suffocating? Or was that the pain in his chest, rather?)_ covers and off the side of the bed. He let them dangle there before pressing his bare feet to the carpeted ground. _(Stupid, stupid. Should have never taken your shirt off.)_

“Tony, that’s not what I meant,” Bruce’s hand _(large hands with blunt fingers. Comforting. Strong. Reliable.)_ came and rested on Tony’s shoulder, the other flinching only minutely. “I couldn’t sleep because I kept on thinking how amazing what you built with so few resources is. Without the arc reactor, I would never have met you.”

“Oh.” Tony wasn’t one to blush easy, but Bruce’s words made him feel strangely flushed. Bruce kept talking, confident for once somewhere outside the lab.

“I admire you, Tony. You built another heart, and you saved yourself when no one else could. Don’t be ashamed of that, Tones.” Bruce murmured, and Tony didn’t say anything, stupid _(ugly, but good?)_ reactor seeming to pulse with every word Bruce said.

“Don’t be afraid to let your light shine. Now lie down and let me cuddle you.” _(I love you for accepting me for who I am. I love you. I love you. I love you.)_

“I love you too.” Bruce breathed, pulling Tony close as the shirtless man lay down, deeply inhaling Bruce’s scent. _(Lavender yet sweeter, bathed in the blue, blue light of his battery-powered heart.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Reasons why Pine doesn’t write romance 2k17.
> 
> Next- Day 2: Family


	2. 2: Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a shitty day today. Joy. Actually, I want to die right now. 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter.

_They were kinda like a family,_ Bruce thought as he watched Thor flip the monopoly game board for the third time in the last month.

“No more of this wretched game!” Thor shouted, grabbing his hammer and smashing the game board with a sense of finality.

(That was the last time they played Monopoly.)

* * *

 _A dysfunctional one, anyway._ They were playing paintball, and Clint was shooting Steve with red, blue, and white paintballs, cackling with glee and taunting him.

“Nice shot, Spangles!” Clint laughed, dodging an unsuccessful retaliation shot from Steve.

* * *

 

 _Very dysfunctional_. Steve let out a quiet yelp, pancake flying straight onto the ceiling as Clint snuck up behind him and shot him in the ass with a bright red paintball.

“Quit it, Barton! We had that match weeks ago!” Steve yelled, and Bruce winced a bit when the pancake came down.

* * *

 

 _Kinda_ _odd_ _too_. Natasha was cooking. “Hey, Bruce. Wanna taste?”

(Bruce ran away as fast as possible.)

* * *

 

 _Very_ _odd_.

Tony looked up from his computer, a large, maniacal grin on his face as he looked towards Bruce. “Whatever you're thinking Tones- no.”

* * *

 

_But we somehow still fit together._

“Movie night! I call choosing the movie!” Tony flopped onto Bruce’s lap, eliciting a surprised grunt from the other man.

“I don't think so, Tin Man! You chose it last time.” Clint snorted, leaping over the couch to land by Tony’s head and ruffling Tony’s hair. Tony grunted, giving Clint an annoyed look.

“If I remember correctly, it's actually Thor’s turn,” Steve said, walking into the living room, Thor behind him.

“I am glad to watch whichever movie Friend Tony desires, as long as it is not the Lion King once again.”

“Ditto.” Natasha seemingly appeared out of nowhere, startling everybody except Clint who smugly proclaimed, “I saw her enter.”

“What about you, Bruce? What movie do you want to watch?” Tony asked, and the man in question fidgeted slightly as everyone’s attention was turned to him.

“Um...how about Sound of Music?”

“What- again?” Clint asked incredulously.

“Your power to choose movies is now vetoed,” Tony added, and Bruce blushed.

“Sorry. It's just, the movie reminds me of us sometimes. A dysfunctional family, you know?”

“...You sap. Fine, JARVIS, strike up the movie. Clint, no singing along.” Tony shot the archer a nasty glare, settling against Bruce again.

And that was how the movie started and ended, all six Avengers sitting on the couch.

_Like a family._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure the idea that Natasha can't cook belongs to Unbreakable92. 
> 
> Next- Day 3: Suicide


	3. 3: Suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Suicide
> 
> TW: Suicidal thoughts and actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicidal thoughts and actions
> 
> No powers AU

He was standing on the edge.

The edge of sanity and insanity. Sadness and joy. Life and death.

The roof.

He had nothing left, all lost in a whirlwind of pain, alcohol, regret, and death. Her head smashed on a sidewalk, his on a gravestone, lab accident. Flatline.

The brightest smile of his life, gone. Snuffed out like a flame.

And it was all his fault.

* * *

 

 _They got into an argument. Tony was drinking again and screaming filled the house. Tony threw something in his vicinity. He threw something back. Next thing he knew, Tony was clutching his heart and he was calling 911, argument_ forgotten _and everything was so fucked._

_“Heart attack,” They said. “Doing everything we can,” they said._

_Then the yelling and panic and the shrill call of death: the flatline._

_He fled._

* * *

 

You could always think back. If only. If only, if only, if only I hadn’t.

But it was too late for if only. Tony was dead. And he was next.

He took a breath, teetering on the edge. The precipice. Sanity. Insanity. Sadness. Joy. Life.

_Death._

“Bruce!” Large hands yanked him back, and Bruce gasped as his face was suddenly crushed into a muscular chest. “Bruce, I heard what happened. The hospital called me. Are you alright?”

Steve. Fucking Apple Pie Steve Rogers.

“Fuck off, Steve. Let me fucking go. I’m going to jump.” Bruce growled, struggling in Steve’s grasp, but Steve was large and muscular and ate apple pie.

“Listen to me, Bruce. Tony’s not dead. Come down with me.”

“Stop lying to me! He’s gone! I saw it. He’s fucking gone, Steve.” And the floodgate burst and Bruce was sobbing and Steve in all his apple pie goodness was patting his back.

“The doctors brought him back, You should have seen it. They say he woke up gasping, ‘Bruce!’” Bruce looked up at Steve, looked into his earnest, honest eyes for any sign of lies. There were none. “Now come down with me?”

And it was true.

* * *

 

“You thought you could get rid of me that easily? Also, Bruce, I’m flattered, but next time if you think I’m dead, I expect you to live.” Tony had snapped weakly, but his eyes were shiny and Bruce was crying and-

Sanity and insanity.  
Sadness and joy.  
Death.

_Life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have let Bruce die, but I'm a sucker for happy endings. 
> 
> Next- Day 4: Star


	4. 4: Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol this one is lowkey crack.
> 
> Also dialogue only because it’s all I had time for today

“Hey Tony?” 

“Hm?”

“Do you ever just look at the night sky?”

“Uh...no?”

“I mean the stars and stuff, Tony. Not just at the sky.” 

“...no, what makes you think that?”

“Well...a little birdie told me that you called up NASA and named three stars for our anniversary next week.”

“What, Clint? What a snitch. It was supposed to be a surprise, Bruce.”

“I figured that much. But why three stars?”

“Don’t kill me big guy, but one for me, one for you, and one for the green giant.” 

“...Why would I kill you for that? You literally just bought Hu- the Other Guy and me stars. That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for my anniversary. Well, besides copious amounts sex.”

“I may or may not have named the star Jolly Green.”

“...”

“Happy early anniversary?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed? They really make my day and make me feel like I’m actually doing something right.
> 
> Next- Day 5: The remote’s gone


	5. 5: The Remote’s Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: The Remote’s Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I’m sorry. I fell asleep doing my physics homework last night and it was disastrous. So I’m just uploading during school. 
> 
> Here, have Day 5 one day late, and enjoy your second chapter later.

“Bruce?” Tony called, wandering into the living room. Bruce was sitting on the couch, book in hands as he gave his boyfriend a bored look.

“Yes?” 

“Where's the remote? Bird-brain says that there's a Dog Cops marathon starting in fifteen minutes, and I want to watch.” 

“I don't know.” Bruce muttered, returning to reading as he heard Tony began to rummage around the couch cushions. 

Tony glanced at Bruce. Reading calmly, the smallest smirk on his face. “You're lying.” He said accusingly, “You know exactly where the remote is.”

“Maybe.” Bruce shrugged, smirk getting larger as Tony began to search the cabinets and shelves near the TV.

“If Clint paid you to hide it, whatever he offered, I'll offer double.” Tony promised, stopping his frantic searching and standing in front of Bruce, who didn't say anything. With a huff, he slapped Bruce’s book out of his hands, and when the curly-haired man bent down to retrieve it, Tony slipped both hands underneath his ass, trying to see if he was sitting on the remote. 

“Tony!” Bruce squawked, leaping off the couch like it had burned him. Tony sighed. No remote. 

“Bruce. If you don't give the remote, I'll have to do something drastic.” Tony warned.

“Yeah?” Bruce asked sarcastically. 

“Don't make me do this, Bruce. I'll tickle you.” 

Bruce paled a bit, squinting at Tony as if to estimate how serious he was being. “No you wouldn't.” 

“Dog Cops, Bruce. Wanna test me?” 

A steely expression crossed Bruce’s face, and Tony stared back, an equal challenge. 

“You’ll never get the remote.” Bruce hissed, but his eyes gleamed with amusement, and Tony pounced on his boyfriend, tackling the shorter man into the couch with a snicker. 

“Where is it, Bruce? You have five seconds...five..four...three..two. One!” With that, Tony dug his fingers into Bruce’s sides, ticking the other man.

“N-o-o-hoho T-T-“ Bruce’s plea broke off with a laugh as Tony tickled him without mercy, cackling like a stereotypical villain the whole time. 

“Surrender, Bruce! You will never win. Tell me where you put the remote!”

“To-Toh-Icah-“ Bruce guffawed, pushing at Tony, but it was futile. 

“You can’t? Or you won’t?”

“S-St-Op!” Bruce was basically crying at this point, and Tony got off his boyfriend with a sigh, letting Bruce curl and protect his stomach. 

“Clint has it. I made a bet on how long I could distract you from Dog Cops.” Bruce admitted after catching his breath.

“You loveable asshole. That money better have been worth it.”

“Who said anything about money? I’m getting cookies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 6: The Mystery Gift


	6. 6: The Mystery Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: The Mystery Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had way too much fun writing this.

“Happy birthday, Bruce!” 

“Thank you, Tony.” Bruce’s grin was wide as he accepted a peck on his cheek from his boyfriend. 

“Was I first?” 

“Nope. Clint called at 12:00 on the dot.”

“What?! It’s only 12:05! Is he trying to seduce you? Don’t fall for his good looks and charms, Bruce, it’s all just feathers in his head.” Tony warned, placing a large box that Bruce had failed to notice earlier on the table.

“Tony-” Bruce looked at the other male a slightly incredulous look on his face as he did so. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know you have a no presents rule, but I had to. You’ll love it, scout’s honor.” Tony swore, drawing a sloppy cross across his heart. 

“You were never a scout, Tony.” Bruce sighed and Tony shrugged. “Anyway, I’ll be sure to open it first thing Christmas morning.” 

“Christmas? What are you waiting until then for? Open it now.” 

“Why?” 

“Because if you don’t open it now, it’ll expire,” Tony explained in a rush, shoving the present closer to Bruce.

“Expire?” That had piqued Bruce’s curiosity as he glanced at the present, eyes roving over it. He wanted to open it, but at the same time, knew he should wait, despite Tony’s complaints. 

His decision was made for him when the box began making thudding noises from the inside, and the top sprung off as an animal popped it’s head out. Bruce would have flinched if he hadn’t been so utterly confused.

“Miaow.” The animal-- a tiny, blue-eyed, dark grey tabby kitten- said, peeping up at Bruce. “Surprise! I got you a kitten!”   
Bruce was torn between immediately picking up the kitten- his kitten- and running off with it and kissing Tony repeatedly, so he did both.

“Ahh, thank you, Tony!” He almost squealed, smacking a sloppy kiss on Tony’s head and grabbing his kitten box and running to the elevator.

“What, I don’t even get to know her name?” Tony called, almost offended.

“Antonia. You’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Pine is so creative at naming
> 
> GUYS I LOVE KITTENS, ESPECIALLY MAINE COONS (which is what Antonia is). 
> 
> https://i.pinimg.com/736x/af/de/fb/afdefbb7039d70e8692834af2f21a8b9--maine-coon-kittens-cats-breeds-maine-coon.jpg (Antonia)
> 
> I have two tests tomorrow RIP. 
> 
> Next- Day 7: I hate Christmas
> 
> (Looking over the prompt list and days 8, 12, and 24 are going to be so awesome lmao)


	7. 7: I hate Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7: I hate Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m tired so enjoy this crap.
> 
> Lol jk no one even likes this.

“Hey Bruce?” Tony called, stepping out of the elevator.

Bruce sighed, putting down his book. Tony sounded upset, which was never good.

“Do you know what today is?”

And there it was. 

“Yes, Tony.”

“It’s a Christmas, Bruce,” Tony went on as Bruce had never spoken. “Usually you at least spend a little time with the team before ducking out, but this time you don’t even show up to the party? Why do you do this?” He sounded hurt. Insulted, even.

“I’m sorry.” Bruce muttered, and Tony threw his arms into the air in an exasperated motion. 

“You say that every single year, big guy. Unless you can give me a legitimate reason for why you hate Christmas, you better get your ass downstairs.”

Bruce bit his lip, looking down and running his fingers over his knuckles blurted out, “Christmas was the first time my father— he got mad because I assembled an advanced science kit and he—I usually don’t celebrate.“ Bruce cut himself off awkwardly, taking off his glasses and cleaning the already spotless lenses.

Silence.

Bruce looked at Tony. The other man looked like he had been sucker punched in the stomach, eyes full of an odd mixture of pain and shock that just looked so wrong.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been forcing you to celebrate for the past, what, three years and you didn’t even say anything until I come up here and berate you for your traumatic experience.”

“Tony-“ The physicist began, but was cut off by Tony leaping onto his lap.

“Is that why you always leave early? Alcohol and much drunkenness?”

“Yeah. I mean, I trust you guys, but alcohol can severely cloud your judgement. I should know.”

“Well. I’ll tell the team tomorrow no more alcohol for Christmas parties. Or birthday parties.” Tony nuzzled Bruce’s neck, whispering. “Why I don’t retire so we can make some good Christmas memories?”

Bruce couldn’t help but smile and blush at the notion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bad ending.
> 
> Use your imagination.
> 
> Next- Day 8: Team


	8. 8: Teams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 8: Teams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dumb ass fell asleep watching The Adventures of Tintin. I then set an alarm for 2 am, woke up, realized I was a fucking idiot and went back to sleep.
> 
> True story.
> 
> Enjoy this late chapter. You'll get another one later today.

“Welcome to the first and probably last Avengers team paintball/capture the flag competition. “ Phil said, watching the group with unidentifiable emotion in his eyes. 

Clint let out a cheer at Phil’s words, but he was the only one who did so. Bruce looked like he’d rather be sleeping, Tony was actually slumped against Thor’s side, sleeping. Thor looked a mix of uncomfortable that he couldn’t move without waking Tony and glad that Tony trusted him enough to fall asleep on him. Steve, Clint, and Natasha were the only ones who were wide awake.

“Did we really have to do this at 4 a.m.?” Bruce asked with a yawn. “I’m really tired.”

“Well, you better stop being tired because you have been elected team leader!” Clint gave Bruce a pat on the back, making the scientist stumble. 

“What? How?”

“Well, Clint thought it would be hilarious to make you and Tony our team captains. He also thought it would be hilarious to make the winning prize: topping in bed.” Natasha said dryly. Steve turned bright red at her declaration, and Thor began laughing loudly at Bruce’s “really” face, effectively waking up Tony.

“Hm- wha? Why are we laughing?” Tony muttered, stretching widely. He looked much more awake than he did before he had fallen asleep on Thor.

“Clint made us captains for paintball and said that the winner gets to top in bed,” Bruce explained, and Tony wiggled his eyebrows at Clint.

“Kinky, Legolas. I’m in.”

“I-what?” Bruce cut himself off with a shake of his head. “Okay. Fine.”

“If we’re finished with this discussion, we could get to choosing teams and going over rules,” Phil stated blandly, drawing all the Avengers’ attention. It looked like he’d rather be elsewhere as well.

“Bruce you can go first. You’ll need it.” Tony said with a cocky grin. 

“Rude. Thor, you’re on my team.” Bruce smiled at the wide grin that the demigod gave him. Despite his abilities, Thor was usually chosen last in team games because of his “cluelessness.”

“Not rude, truthful. Natashalie.” Tony countered, shivering under the glare that the red-haired assassin gave him.

“Call me that one more time Stark and I’m switching teams,” Natasha said icily, and Tony bobbed his head up and down rapidly.

Bruce snorted. “Clint.”

“I guess that leaves that old man for me,” Tony said, giving a large, dramatic sigh. Steve rolled his eyes.

“If you get shot five times you’re out. No shooting while in the weapons vault. No shooting people with arrows that aren’t blunt tipped, no permanent maiming, no murdering, no Hulking, no using the Iron Man suit, no hacking, no concussions, and finally no lightning that isn’t from the natural weather.” 

“How are we supposed to have fun with all those rules?” Clint whined. 

“Why am I standing out here at 4 a.m. in 40-degree weather with a bunch of children who want to play paintball?” Phil replied and Clint huffed, but didn’t say anything. 

“You have two minutes to get your weapons. Ready? Go.”

“See you in bed, Bruce!” Tony smirked as Bruce rolled his eyes.

“If you say so.” 

(To say that Tony’s team lost badly would be an understatement.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed, maybe leave a kudos and a comment or something? I live for those.
> 
> Next- Day 9: Next Year...
> 
> (Also, after the 11th [I think] prompts will be shorter because exams will be from the 13th to the 15th. After that, I will be on Christmas break and be writing new stories [hopefully]. I have a kinda PWP [it would be a sequel to "Is There a Problem, Gentlemen?"] and an Omegas as pets AU planned along with finishing up "A con-man...," and "The Way," but I would like to know what you guys would like to read from me. Say in the comments?)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. 9: Next Year...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 9: Next Year...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I like to think this chapter is pretty funny.
> 
> You may disagree, but whatever. My sense of humour sucks.
> 
> Note: Tony is drugged for this chapter. Could be triggering?

“Next year, I hope it doesn't snow so much.” Tony said, staring outside with a sad look on his face.

“That's like wishing that birds don't fly. Unlikely.” Bruce replied, patting his boyfriend on the back as he passed. 

“But Capsicle is cold.” Tony whined, turning to look at Bruce with wide eyes as he walked by. 

“I'm sure he’s warm in his bed.” Bruce assured. “Just lay back down.”

Tony had been hit with some sort of chemical mixture during a battle just hours ago that had turned him completely loopy. He was restless, talking nonstop, and had no filter. Basically normal Tony, except a lot more grabby and willing to express emotion. 

Tony had laid down for not even five seconds before, “Bruceeee.” 

Bruce sighed. How was he supposed to figure out the composition and find a cure with Tony calling him constantly? SHIELD assured him that they would take care of it, but Bruce doubted that they could find a cure as soon as he could. 

“Bruceeeee.” Tony was out of bed again, arms wrapped around Bruce’s legs like an octopus. Bruce looked down into his boyfriend’s dilated pupils.

“Yes, Tony?” 

“Next year I hope we never have to play paintball with Clint again.” 

“I completely agree.” Bruce went back to his work. A minute passed with Tony still on his legs. 

“Brucie?” 

“Tony.” 

“Come cuddle with me.” Tony asked, tugging on Bruce’s lab coat. 

“Can't.” Bruce replied simply, working on not spilling any chemicals in the blue tube. It was taking quite a bit of concentration, and Tony wasn't helping. 

“Come cuddle with me.” Tony insisted, pulling on Bruce’s lab coat harder, and Bruce let out a frustrated sigh as the tube overflowed. Nothing harmful, luckily.

“Cuddle. Now.” 

“Will you go to sleep if I cuddle you?” Bruce asked, cleaning up the mess best as he could with the material closest to him. It was hard to move with Tony on his feet.

“Yes.” 

“Fine, but you have to get off my feet.” 

Tony complied and the two were on Tony’s makeshift lab bed in a few minutes. 

“Hey Bruce.” Tony murmured, wrapping Bruce’s arms around him.

“Hi.” 

“Next year...I hope we get married.” 

“Wait, what?!” Bruce asked, but somehow in the .3 seconds after Tony had asked, the engineer had fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 10: Sticky Tape


	10. 10: Sticky Tape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 10: Sticky Tape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had way too much fun writing this.
> 
> Sorry not sorry.
> 
> Kinda warning for Kidnapping?

“This isn't the worst situation we've ever been in.” Bruce muttered.

“You don't say.” Tony drawled, squirming against Bruce’s back.

They were in a cellar somewhere, tied back to back, hands duct-taped with some annoyingly sticky tape. Tony was pretty sure it would rip his skin if it ever came off.

“Both of you shut up.” Head-Honco Kidnapper snapped angrily poking Bruce angrily with his gun. Bruce rolled his eyes.

“Why did you kidnap us anyway?” Tony asked, completely ignoring Head-Honcho and talking to Henchman #1 instead.

“Well obviously, the avengers are rich. We kidnap the two most valuable-- the Hulk trainer and the billionaire, they'll pay a lot for you to get out.” Henchman #1 shut up when Head-Honcho shot him a glare.

“Hulk trainer, hm? That's a new one, isn't it Bruce?” Tony mused, and Bruce shrugged as much as he could with the ropes restraining his motion.

“I don't know. I've heard it a few times out in public. People thought they were being subtle, you know, but they really weren't.”

“I thought I told you to shut up!” 

“And I thought I told you I wanted a chocolate milkshake, but we don’t always get what we want, do we?” Tony countered back snarkily. Then to Bruce he asked, “Babe when we get out of here can we stop for chocolate milkshakes?”

“Only if they’re triple chocolate.” 

“FUCKING SHUT UP!” Head-Honcho yelled, slamming the butt of his rifle into the ground and making both Bruce and Tony jump. “If I hear one more damn word from either of you, I will shoot the other in the head. Understand?”

There was silence for approximately three minutes with lots of squirming from Tony before Henchman #2 said, “Camera’s up. Recording in 3...2...1.”

“Hello Avengers. As you can see, your teammates are in a bit of a...sticky situation. Give us all the money you have and they will be returned safely. If not, curly-hair is first to go.”

“Really? Sticky situation? No wonder villains never become comedians.” Bruce muttered, ignoring Head-Honcho’s glare.

“Clint, you owe me fifteen dollars! Also tell Red to pick us up at the nearest sundae place in approximately fifteen minutes.” Tony shouted.

“For fucks sake! Turn off the camera, Ed. I swear, I’m about to whoop some Avenger ass right now. How the hell are you two so damn annoying?! Simple. FUCKING. ORDERS.”

“Well I did politely ask you to let us go.” Bruce responded

“Looks like someone needs anger management classes other than you, Brucie. It’s true. He did. I recall his exact words. ‘Please let us go. We’re very annoying to the inexperienced criminal and you will get your butt kicked in the end.’Yep, that’s what he said. ” Tony pointed out, nodding his agreement.

Both Ed and Henchman #1 backed away when Head-Honcho let out a scream of pure anger and frustration, throwing a fist out to hit Tony in the face. He blinked when his fist was caught, and Tony grinned, both him and Bruce standing up.

“Guess your sticky tape wasn’t so sticky after all.” Tony said conversationally, then drew back his fist and knocked Head-Honcho out with a single punch. “Ow, that kinda hurt.” He hissed, shaking out his fist a bit.

“Really Tony? Ugh. Bad joke.” Bruce groaned, walking up to the henchmen and allowing his eyes to turn green. Both of them screamed and Ed easily pissed his pants before fainting.

“Henchman #1, do us a favor and just stay here. Or else Black Widow will kick your ass more than we have. Peace out.” Tony gave the remaining henchman a peace out sign before stepping over Honcho’s body, Bruce following behind. They met no resistance as they walked straight out the door.

“Hm. How far do you approximate the next sundae is from here?”

“Judging by the sheer amount of trees...more than 15 minutes.”

“Damnit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 11: He didn’t come
> 
> Be prepared for some minor feels tomorrow.


	11. 11: He didn't come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 11: He didn't come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've literally already fallen asleep once today and all I want to do is lay down and cry but because COMMITMENT I am sitting behind this computer instead of in bed where I belong.
> 
> aka when Pine fails all her exams because she was sleeping instead of studying

It was one week after Christmas and Bruce was already three days overdue. 

He had promised that he would come back from whatever country in the third world he was in. He had promised!

And yet...he wasn't here. 

Another day passed. Then a second. 

Bruce was five days overdue and Tony was staring out the windows, half expecting Bruce to pop up anytime, and half expecting to end up standing there for eternity. 

It wasn't like Bruce to not keep his promises.

"Hey, Tony." Tony jumped, turning around swiftly, hopeful smile dying on his lips as he saw Steve and Natasha. 

"What?" He asked sharply, turning back to the window. Snowflakes had just started to fall. Great.

"General Ross. He's put out a capture message for Banner." Steve said, and Tony put two and two faster than he really wanted to.

"Speaking of which, where's the big guy?" Natasha asked, looking around semi-warily as if she was expecting Bruce to appear from the couch.

Despite the cold weather, all Tony could feel was red hot blinding rage as he ground out, "He didn't come."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, another bad ending. Jesus, this chapter is only like 185 words. Sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> Next- Day 12: Socks


	12. 12: Socks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 12: Socks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, this chapter didn’t work out likeI really wanted it to, but I hope you guys like it anyway.

“Tony, is there a reason why Thor, Steve, Natasha, and Clint are all wearing socks that say “Have a smashing holiday” in bright green with the Hulk’s face on the bottom?” Bruce’s voice came from right behind Tony, making the engineer jump.

“Uh…” Tony not so subtly shuffled his feet under the desk.

“You’re wearing a pair too.” Bruce sounded both unsurprised and mildly annoyed, and Tony held his hands up in an “I surrender” gesture.

“Well you see...last time you Hulked out- what was that, December 5th? 6th?”

“You were right the first time.”

“Anyway, the Hulk complained that his feet were cold in all the snow.”

Bruce groaned. He could already see where this was going.

“So then, I made a pair of socks! Your pair are actually right here. Stretchy pants technology and everything. Of course, if you’re opposed to those, I also made a plain black pair.” Tony shrugged, turning to face the other scientist. “Sorry I didn’t ask you first. Barton broke into the lab and distributed them among the team before I had the opportunity. They were supposed to be a surprise.”

“...That’s really sweet, Tony. The Other Guy thinks so too.”

“How sweet? Lab sex sweet?”

“No. We are never doing that again. The lab exploded, Tony.”

“Aw, but-“

Bruce kissed Tony, cutting the other’s protests off. “But it is sweet enough for later sex. Now give me my socks.”

As Tony handed over the socks, and Bruce exited the lab, he thought, _Damn, I should make more socks._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 13: Secrets


	13. 13: Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 13: Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m very tired. I totally flunked that math exam whatever

“Bruce? What’re you doing?” Tony asked, seeing his boyfriend hunched over a lab table at 3 am, muttering curses. 

“Oh- T-Tony!” Bruce shot up, which made Tony’s suspicion rise. “I’m uh...hey, look over there!?” Bruce sounded so frantic that Tony actually looked, and when he turned back around, Bruce was gone, along with whatever he had been doing.

“What are you hiding, Bruce?” He muttered to himself.

The next day, Tony acted like nothing had happened, but when Bruce got out of bed around 2:30am, he couldn’t help but follow.

“Bruce?” 

The curly-haired scientist jumped again, whirling around. He didn’t relax at the sight of Tony, which was something he normally did.

“Tony? Did you follow me?” 

“What’re you doing? I thought we agreed no more late night science binges.”

“Yeah...I couldn’t sleep. I’ll be up in five minutes.”

“Okay.” Tony stood there waiting for a moment, and Bruce awkwardly stared back.

“Go up without me. I’ll be there soon, I promise.”

So Tony went, and as promised, Bruce was up in five minutes, smelling suspiciously of chemicals and looking so guilty that Tony could taste it.

The third night, Tony finally cornered Bruce in the lab. He was standing at the table when Tony stormed in and basically pinned Bruce to the table, leaving him no room to duck out anywhere. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, raising his voice a bit more then he would have liked. “Sneaking down here at 3am every morning, despite the fact that you made the late night science binges rule! What’re you doing Bruce, hmm? All this sneaking around makes me think you’re doing something you shouldn’t.”

Maybe he was being a little overdramatic, but he was Tony Stark, no one kept secrets from him!

“Tony-“

“Are you trying to make another Hulk cure?” Tony asked sharply, and Bruce snorted, despite the fact that he was the one being yelled at. 

“Of course not. I’m not stupid, Tony. Now if you could just calm down a bit-“ Bruce reached behind him and pulled out Tony’s favorite mug, except it was shattered into a couple pieces.

“You see, Thor and I got drunk the other night and he threw his hammer straight into the mug cupboard. I’ve been trying to fix it for the last three days without alerting you, but you keep barging in here.” Bruce let out a slightly bitter and dry chuckle. “I’m not trying to hide anything, well other than this mug, from you.”

“Oh. Well. I guess this is awkward.” Tony backed up, letting Bruce have some space. 

“At least now I know I shouldn’t keep secrets from you.”


	14. 14: Too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 14: Too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. At least I’m finished with exams tho.

I can’t do this, Tony. It-it’s too much.” Bruce stammered, skin bleeding green.

“Bruce, hold on. The team will be here soon, I swear.”

They were in a bad situation. They had gotten kidnapped, for about the third time, except that Bruce had been stabbed and was trying not to Hulk out and they had Tony’s arc reactor and had somehow replaced it with the car battery again and everything hurt.

“Don’t do it, Banner, else your boyfriend will be smushed.” One of their captors sneered, but it really wasn’t helping as Bruce’s eyes began to turn green.

“Shut up!” Bruce snarled. “I’ll smush you!”

“Bruce, buddy, Banner, pal, big green. You can do this. I know you can. I believe in you like no one has ever believed.”

“Thank you, but I don’t think this- this-“ Bruce let out a groan. “I’m sorry.” 

Then an explosion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Open ending for anyone to interpret. Did Bruce Hulk out? Or did the team cause the explosion?
> 
> Next- Day 15: In the Closet


	15. 15: In the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 15: In the closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More crack, yay. No one reads this anyway lmao

“How the hell did this happen?” Bruce muttered, pushing futilely against the door of the closer.

“I lost another bet to Clint and Natasha and refused to pay them. I thought they had forgotten, but last night one of them totally drugged my drink, which is how I ended up in here. You?”

“I may or may not have beaten Clint at Mario Kart and he came back for vengeance. Thor?”

The blond demigod occupying the majority of the closet with his mass huffed quietly. “I became lost looking for the bathroom.”

“Great. Well-“ The closet door opened blindly fast and Tony was pushed further unto the closet as someone else stumbled in before the door slammed shut.

“Oh, so this is where you guys have been.” Steve exclaimed, face lighting up.

“Brother Steven?”

“Why are you in here?” Bruce asked.

“All I did was ask Natasha and Clint where you guys were.”

“We need to get out of here before the spy twins trash my house.” 

Suddenly there was a creak as the vent cover crashed into the closet, almost landing on Steve and Clint fell straight down, screaming curses at Natasha.

“She tricked me! She stole my shoes and my money and she tricked me!”

“How the hell do we get out of here?” Steve asked, pushing the door.

“We don’t. We survive.” Tony said sarcastically, not noticing Thor’s eyes widen until the demigod outstretched his hand and- “Shit, Thor I was joking!”- the hammer came crashing through the closet door. 

It was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow is going to be a long one in celebration of exams being over. Pray for my 4.0 please.
> 
> Please.
> 
> Next- Day 16: So Hot


	16. 16: So hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 16: So hot (Continuation of chapter 11)
> 
> TW: Implied/referenced assault, human experimentation and talk of dissection, non-consensual drugging, kidnapping, and mentions of vomiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Chapter 11?
> 
> A bit late, but I fell asleep as usual so...
> 
> Justtopostmyfic kinda requested a sickfic, so I was like yay, day 16, but it ended up being a lot more angst and a lot less sick then I intended. My sincere apologies.
> 
> Not beta read, as usual, I feel like this one has a lot of mistakes :T all my fault
> 
> Kinda TW: Implied/referenced assault, human experimentation, non-consensual drugging, kidnapping, (I guess) mentions of vomiting, and Ross being a complete dick in general. (Nothing is graphic, I don't believe.)

“We should call SHIELD. Their hospital is safer than Stark Tower, surely.” Steve suggested, eyeing the team as he spoke. They all looked like they wanted to disagree, but Tony was the first one to open his mouth.

“Do you honestly think SHIELD is a good idea right now? They’ll strap him down to a table, poke and prod at him and toss him into the Hulk cage. Exactly like Ross.” Tony snapped, glaring at Steve venomously for even suggesting it.

“Tony, you know SHIELD-” Steve started, but Tony cut him off viciously.

“I know SHIELD is a bunch of dirty liars and even though they’ve helped us in the past, you know exactly how Bruce feels about them and how they feel about Bruce. Look at them, they’re not even arresting Ross for this, only giving him a slap on the wrist because he claims he had permission from the fucking Council. Then he’ll be out, and he’ll have complete access to Bruce in the med bay?”

“As much as it pains me to say it, Stark is right,” Clint said, and although his voice was lighthearted, his near undetectable slump in shoulders and dark eyes showed his anger at the scenario.

* * *

It was near the beginning of January now. After Steve had told Tony about Ross’s lurking and Tony had mentioned that Bruce had never come for Christmas, everything had gone into full panic mode. Tony had immediately started tracking Bruce while Natasha and Steve had gone to SHIELD for information.

Clint had been on the streets, looking for any trace, and had actually been the one to find where Bruce had been being held after hearing some scientists in a cafe speaking casually about cutting Banner open. Like he was just some lab rat or something instead of a human being that they were experimenting on illegally.

Reporting his findings to Tony, the Avengers assembled to save their teammate. Tony was angrier than anyone had ever seen him, charging into the building and destroying everything in his path to his boyfriend. However, if Tony was angry when he came in, he was absolutely enraged when he came out of the building, Bruce limp and pale in his arms.

It took both Steve and Natasha to desperately stop Tony from exploding the building and killing the general in the process, the only thing stopping the engineer was the fact that Bruce was possibly injured and needed to be transported away as soon as possible.

It definitely didn’t help that Bruce was severely dehydrated and malnutritioned, refused to speak, kept flinching anytime anyone got close to him, and was very, very sick. Also, he kept passing out.

One of the scientists working for Ross admitted that the drug cocktail she had used to force the Hulk to stay down hadn’t reacted with the physicist very well and had made him vomit profusely on the first day. On the second day, he gained a fever that increasingly got worse, but Ross still refused to give him food or water. By the third day, Bruce was hallucinating, but as expected, Ross did nothing other than force a couple sleeping pills down the man’s throat. For three more days. It had been six days, yet somehow Ross managed to fuck around so badly that Bruce looked like he’d been a prisoner there for months.

And if Tony had been enraged before, seeing the condition Bruce was in made his previous enragement look like a kitten’s anger. Clint swore he saw tiny nuclear bombs erupt in Tony’s eyes.

* * *

 

“Thank you, Barton. Now, if I’m not needed here, Bruce needs my help.” Tony got out of his chair, pushing it back under the table. He was thankfully much calmer than before, nodding at each of his teammates individually before walking out of the meeting room and down the hallway to where the elevator was located.

* * *

“Hey, Bruce. I know you’re still asleep and probably going to randomly fall asleep for at least another day or something with the number of pills that bastard made you ingest, but I brought the book on your bedside table. You’ve had to have read this about a million times. You know, the one with that black horse named Black or something. Real original for the owners, yeah, I know. Yes, I remember, you’re always nagging me that his name is actually Black Beauty, but isn’t Beauty his last name, even if he’s a horse?” Tony paused, waiting for Bruce to answer before realizing his boyfriend was sleeping under a pile of at least two comforters.

“Right, you’re asleep. Either way, I’ll read to you. I mean, you’re asleep, so I doubt you care. And then after like the end of chapter three or something, I will definitely look up how to take care of sick boyfriends. Something about crackers and ginger ale, I’m sure. Whichever disgusting pharmaceutical medicine gets rid of the sickness the fastest too. Ugh, that’s not fun.”

As Tony rambled, he pulled up a chair next to Bruce’s bed, idly petting Bruce’s curls while the other snored. Bruce’s forehead felt hot. So hot that it actually sparked some rage into Tony once more, but he forced himself to push it down.

“That’s what I thought. Anyway, I’m going to get to reading. ‘Part one. My Early Home. The first place I can remember was a large pleasant meadow with a pond of clear water-’” It was actually quite relaxing to read and as he read aloud, he found himself a bit caught up in the story himself, adding in fewer random comments as he went.

Tony only realized that Bruce was awake when he stopped talking for a moment and realized the snoring had come to an end and Bruce was staring at him with wide eyes, a mixture of confusion, wariness, and alarm. Bruce opened his mouth-- paused, swallowed-- and closed his mouth once more.

“Bruce, what’s wrong?” Tony asked, closing the book and neatly setting it on the night table. Bruce still wasn’t speaking, which could mean a number of things. His throat might be very dry or sore. Maybe there was some internal damage that they missed in the initial check.

“Can you speak?”

Bruce rapidly nodded his head.

“Is your throat hurt?”

Bruce shook his head in a “so-so” way.

“Can I see it?”

Bruce froze up at the question, obviously torn between protecting his throat or letting his boyfriend see. It was obvious he was still slightly drugged, movements a bit sluggish and eyes not completely aware. For all he knew, this could be another fever-induced hallucination and he could still be with Ross, the thought had Tony’s face rapidly darkening and Bruce nodded upon seeing his upset look.

“You don’t have to. I mean, I’m not mad at you, Bruce.” Tony felt guilt ball up in his stomach at the sudden change of heart, but Bruce just shook his head, shrugging slightly.

“Would it help if I gave you some medicine?” Tony quickly concluded that saying the word medicine to someone who likely thought he was a hallucination and thought he was still being experimented on by scientist wasn’t the best idea. Bruce retreated under the covers faster than Tony could blink, curling into a shaking, huddled ball.

“Aw, shit, Bruce...I just meant like Mucinex or something. Or Advil, for the pain or something.”

“No pain,” Bruce rasped quietly, letting out some hacking coughs after talking, and Tony knew why he wasn’t. It probably didn’t help that Bruce had not only been sick, but Ross had forced him to dry swallow tons of pills-- probably rough on the throat. “I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?”

Fuck, another wrong interpretation. “No, no, no, I meant- l-like the pain you’re already in. I’d never hurt you, Brucie, I swear.” Tony’s mood went from unhappy to straight up “murder Ross’s ass if he even looks at Bruce one more time” when Bruce cautiously peeked out from under the covers. A spark of recognition.

“T-Tony? ‘M sorry.” Bruce’s coughs sounded disgustingly wet and sick, stopping the smaller physicist from saying anything further.

“Don’t be, Big Guy. You don’t have to take medicine if you don’t want to, but can you sit up?” Tony moved slowly, as not to spook Bruce back into completely drug-hazed with a sudden wrong movement.

“This will probably blow over in a day or two,” Bruce muttered weakly, slowly pushing himself into an upright condition, coughing the whole time. The unspoken, ‘You really don’t have to worry about me.’ slapped Tony in the face like how he wished he could slap Ross and the Council.

“And until then, I’ll make sure to take great care of you.” Tony ignored his friend’s answering frown. “You need to eat something. I’m not shit for cooking, but I know Steve makes a mean chicken noodle soup.” Something liquid to soothe his throat would be good, Tony supposed.

“I-” Bruce hesitated and Tony grinned. “Great, I’ll call him right now.”

“I didn’t say yes,” Bruce muttered, but Tony just ignored him and whipped out his phone, calling the supersoldier in a hurry.

“He says he’ll be done in fifteen, and then we can get you all fed and fixed and happy again.” Tony’s tone was much too happy for what he was actually feeling- protective as hell- but that was okay because Bruce was slowly relaxing.

“I’m going to get a pen and paper. I’ll be right back, okay?” It probably wasn’t good for Bruce’s throat that he was straining it further with all this talking, and what better solution? Tony wasn’t even one foot out the door before-

“Don’t leave please,” Bruce whispered, looking at Tony anxiously and on edge as if he was expecting Tony to reject his request immediately. Whatever relaxation had been in Bruce just a few seconds ago was thrown out the window as he clutched the covers.

Fuck goddammit. Tony turned around without a second thought, slipping underneath the covers next to Bruce. “See, I’m not leaving. And if I start to, just flick me on the head and call me silly. I am not moving from this bed.” Tony stated. The heat coming off of Bruce was slightly uncomfortable, but he wasn’t about to let the other know.

There was silence, and for a moment, Tony thought Bruce had fallen asleep again, until the curly-haired man quietly said, “I thought I was done, Tony. They duped me at the airport on my way home, brought me back, and strapped me to a lab table. The liquid...it felt like it burned my body. Ross taunted me, slapped me around, beat me up, choked me, and shoved pills down my throat, The scientists weren’t much better. They spoke of dissecting me.”

Tony swallowed down bile hard as Bruce spoke, somehow managing to make it through his words without coughing.

“I thought I was going to die there and every time I got saved, it was always just a hallucination. All I could keep thinking was, ‘Oh shit, I broke my promise, Tony is going to be pissed.’” Bruce snorted slightly, wincing at the action and looking at Tony. He was starting to get that glazed, drugged look in his eyes before he falls asleep from the pills, Tony realized. Tony was definitely going to kill Ross and no one was ever going to fuck with his boyfriend again.

“I wasn’t pissed. I was worried. I love you, Bruce, and I should have protected you. It’s my fault that you got-- I’m sorry. But I plan to make these next two days better with lots of chicken noodle soup, comforters, and reading.”

“You’ve already done a lot, Tony.”

“You’ve done quite a bit too, Bruce. You helped me that time I got sick. It’s only fair that I help you back.”

“You had the flu, Tony. That’s not easily curable.” Bruce’s voice was getting a sleepy tone to it, and Tony sighed.

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter if it’s the common cold, Brucie. If you ever need taking care of, I’ll do it, even if you’re vomiting in a toilet.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Bruce murmured, and as Tony brushed Bruce’s curls away from his face, the physicist fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- day 17: She didn't?


	17. 17: She didn't?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 17: She didn't?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really a good day at all for me today, but that's okay. Here's the chapter.
> 
> HIGHSCHOOL AU (yay)

“Wow, that’s quite a shiner there, Bruce. Natasha finally beat your snarky ass, I see.” Clint snorted, sitting at the lunch table and Bruce jumped a bit, dropping his pencil.

“Oh, she didn’t,” Bruce replied bitterly, picking his pencil up, presumably to finish his homework. His lunch tray was only missing it’s pudding cup, something not out of the usual for Bruce. Clint tilted his head, confused. “She didn’t?”

“We don’t tell Tony,” Bruce muttered, and continued scribbling on the homework, which at a closer glance, Clint could see was biology. He was in biology. Bruce wasn’t, rather in one of the more advanced science classes-- AP physics or chemistry. Maybe both.

“Whose homework is that?” Clint asked, and Bruce shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. The answers are all wrong anyway.” Bruce smirked. “I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she gets an F.”

“I’d hate to see the look on your face when she gets an F.” Clint countered. “Now who is it? I’ll shoot her in the ass with an arrow. I’m not the captain of the archery team for nothing.”

“It’s not a team if it only consists of two people.” Bruce completely dodged Clint’s question, which annoyed the blond, but he defended his team anyway.

“Three! Lucky is our mascot, so he counts too. Stop trying to get me off track. Tell me.”

Bruce fiddled with his glasses for a few seconds before quietly saying, “Hela Odinson.”

Clint’s jaw would have fallen off if it wasn’t attached to his body. “Seriously? Thor’s sister?”

“Yes, dumbass. Which is exactly why we don’t tell the group, we don’t tell Thor, and we especially don’t tell Tony.”

“We don’t tell Tony what?” Tony asked, making both Clint and Bruce jump as he slid onto the seat next to Bruce, Steve and Natasha not far behind.

“About the time that I fucked up that lab experiment that made my hair bright green,” Bruce said seriously, and Tony’s eyebrows rose as his boyfriend glanced at him.

“Huh, I remember that. Wow, what did you say to Natasha? Did you ask her if she was on her period? That’s gotta hurt.”

Bruce turned bright red at Tony’s remark, hissing, “Not when she’s literally right behind you, Tony,” while at the exact same time, Natasha growled, “Can it, Stark.”

“Hey, hey, sorry.” Tony held his hands up in a ‘don’t hurt me’ position. “But seriously, why’d you punch my boyfriend?”

“Why would I punch Bruce? Bruce is literally my favorite person here.”

“What?” Clint looked at Natasha, eyes betrayed. “But why Natasha. I thought you loved me the most.”

“You’re my third favorite. Steve’s my second favorite because he’s cool.”

“Thank you.” Steve preened like a peacock at Natasha’s words, ignoring Clint’s glare.

“Who punched Bruce then?” Tony asked, eyes narrowing. He paused. “Clint. Tell me.”

“I can’t- I promised I wouldn’t.”

“I’ll give you fifty dollars.” Tony offered, and Clint’s eyes grew wide.

“Hela Odinson.” He blurted out, and Bruce sighed, watching Tony toss his wallet over to the archer who began rummaging through.

“Thor’s sister?” Steve questioned, and Bruce shrugged.

“She wanted me to do her homework, and you know...I wasn’t about to hit her back. I was just going to give her an F and show her cheaters never prosper.”

“I’ll show her cheaters never prosper,” Tony growled, standing up eyes scanning the cafeteria for the junior in mention. She was sitting with her two brothers, Thor and Loki, rolling her eyes as Thor spoke animatedly.

“Tony, don’t-” Bruce’s protest was lost as Tony already began storming across the cafeteria.

“Ooh, this is going to be good!” Clint muttered, looking up from Tony’s wallet eagerly. Heads turned as students saw Tony march down the aisle with mild murder in his eyes, heading straight for the Odinson table.

“Hela!” Tony bellowed, loud enough for it to be heard throughout the whole cafeteria. “You better leave my boyfriend alone.” Thor and Loki were both giving Tony perplexed looks, while Hela just stared at him with venom without saying anything.

Tony grabbed something from his pocket, holding it up. “Actually, let this be a lesson to everyone here! Mess with any of my friends, and this will happen.” With that, he threw the object at Hela, and as the thing made contact with the table, it exploded, smoke pouring out. Students began screaming as the smoke detectors immediately went off, the sprinklers going off and the alarm blaring.

* * *

 

“Detention was so worth it.” Tony leaned back in his chair and Bruce sighed.

“My knight in shining armor.” Bruce drawled, only semi-sarcastically.

In the end, when the smoke cleared, Hela’s hair had been bright green. She had begun screaming at Tony and threatening to sue and had been sent home, and although Thor was upset at first, upon hearing what Hela did to Bruce, quickly switched sides. Loki had remained indifferent, cackling before slinking off to God knows where.

And then Vice Principal Coulson had walked in and busted all their asses, which was how Bruce and Tony ended up in detention; despite Bruce telling Coulson that he had nothing to do with it, the man wouldn’t believe him, likely because he had been there when Bruce made that awful hair-dying accident batch in the lab.

“How’d you even have that mixture anyway?” Bruce asked and Tony grinned. “I may have kept some from the original batch to save for a rainy day. I was going to eventually use it on Steve or Clint. It was good I saved it.”

“You know you didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, and you don’t have to put up with her shit. Stop being so self-depreciating and let me kiss you.”

“Mr. Stark, Mr. Banner, no talking in detention, and definitely no PDA. Don’t make me give you another one.” Coulson said, not looking up from the papers he was grading.

“Aww, but Agent...admit it, you love us.” Tony pouted, sticking his tongue out at the vice principal.

“And that’s another detention, Stark. I’ll enjoy seeing you tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 18: Until midnight


	18. 18: Until midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 18: Until midnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every single time I write "midnight" I capitalize it because I have a dog named Midnight. It's really getting on my nerves, sheesh.

“Are you staying up for Santa?” Bruce asked, walking into the lab and seeing his boyfriend making some modifications to Clint’s arrows-- a last minute present on Christmas Eve.

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not. What do you even mean?” Tony asked, looking up, back at Bruce with a perplexed expression, and then back to the arrows. 

“You know, kids stay up until midnight to try to catch a glimpse of Santa delivering presents. I never did it myself, but my cousin did when I went to go live with her. I told her that Santa wasn’t real and she started crying. It was a dick move.” Bruce snorted at the memory, despite the words. 

“Oh. I never believed in Santa. Howard told me it was a load of crap when I was five or so.” Tony shrugged. “Couldn’t have the son of the great Howard Stark yapping on about that sort of bullshit.” His voice turned slightly bitter, but his expression never changed from neutral. Bruce was used to this-- Howard Stark had been an asshole. Tony never talked about it unless he wanted to and Bruce never pushed.

“I didn’t believe in Santa either. It just never made any sense to me as a child. One man delivering millions of presents in one night?” Bruce shook his head. “Regardle-” Bruce was cut off by the loud sound of a vent cover falling to the ground.

“Again, Clint? Get out of here before I have Jarvis install lasers in the vents, you weird ass bird-man! You’re not getting your present until Christmas!” Tony shouted, and instead of Clint revealing himself, Steve tumbled out of the vents. He was dressed like Santa Claus, and his face was bright red.

“Ho ho ho...merry Christmas,” Steve muttered, and Tony burst out laughing, while Bruce tried to be more polite with a few quiet snickers.

“What the hell happened, Santa Steve?” Tony wheezed from laughter, and Steve just turned even redder. 

“I lost a bet to Thor. Also, it’s officially Christmas, so Clint would like to collect his present now.” 

“You hear, Bruce? We really did wait until midnight for Santa. Jolly Ol’ St. Rogers. Santa Steve. The North Pole up his ass. Father Cap-”

“That’s enough, Tony.” Bruce interrupted, taking pity on Steve’s cherry red face. “Now go give Clint his present before he breaks in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All those nicknames...I had a bit too much fun here.
> 
> Next- Day 19: The tree


	19. 19: The tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 19: The tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO TIRED RIGHT NOW.
> 
> A continuation of day 10: Sticky Tape

“Update: It’s been about one hour, sixteen minutes and we’re still wandering around all these fucking trees.” It was true.

“Why must you insist on saying update? There’s no one here except us.” That was true too.

They were far away from the next sundae joint and Bruce’s stomach was starting to rumble, but Tony’s was twice as loud as his. Each time his stomach growled, he made an update.

“Update: Bruce is getting cranky. Hopefully, he will release the green giant, but I fear I will lose Hulk in the trees. If I do not get a sundae soon, I fear I will die.” Tony looked at Bruce seriously, and Bruce scoffed. They’d both been hungrier than just a rumbling stomach before.

“Wow Tony, look at that tree,” Bruce said, pointing to a tree at random in an attempt to distract his boyfriend. If he looked into Tony’s persuasive eyes any longer, he just might have decided to Hulk out.

“That sure is an amazing tree. Let’s take it with us.” Tony pulled a pocket-knife from his back pocket and began cutting at the tree trunk.

“Wait, what.” 

And that was how Natasha, Steve, and Clint found Bruce watching with wide eyes, nearly a full hour later, as Tony still attempted to cut through the trunk.

(They eventually did take the tree home. Tony put it up as his Christmas one.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to bed after this.
> 
> Next- Day 20: He is sober


	20. 20: He is sober

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 20: He is sober

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing to really report here. Just the usual dose of Bruce angst and protective Tony

“An-and I told him to fuck off.” Bruce hiccuped, looking at Tony with blurry eyes, glass of amber liquid at his fingertips. 

It was never often that Bruce would get so far drunk as to be completely inebriated, but when he did, all he did was talk and talk. He was an oddly emotional drunk for someone was calm and collected when sober.

“Yeah?” Tony asked gently, moving the glass further away from Bruce. Bruce made a grabby motion, but Tony gave Bruce a stern look, to which the other sighed.

“Anyway...h-he mugged me. And stole my f-favorite w-watch.” Bruce made a sad noise, reaching for the bottle of alcohol, which was when Steve, who had been watching apprehensively from the couch, decided he’d had enough and took the bottle. 

“D-Don’t.” Bruce whined. “My drink…”

“I think you’ve had enough to drink.” Steve said firmly. “You need to stop.”

“What, are we talking about Stark?” Clint asked, walking into the room, six pack of beer in hand. Bruce whirled around, eyes honing in on the beer in an instant.

“No, he’s sober. Keep that away from Bruce.” Steve replied, narrowing his eyes at Clint. 

“Wow, you’re actually sober, Stark. I’m impressed.” The archer snorted, and Tony’s eyes became steely at the insult. 

“I’ll have you know, Barton, that I don’t drink anymore. Usually Bruce doesn’t either, but he’s had a hard day. So if you could kindly keep your thoughts and your beer to yourself, I’d be impressed.” 

Bruce giggled as Clint retreated, but the moment he realized his teammate had taken the beer too, he put his hands in his head and began crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint got roasted lmao
> 
> Jk my roasts are weak AF
> 
> Next- Day 21: Too many people


	21. 21: Too many people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 21: Too many people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Don’t procrastinate. You have all day to write these chapters, don’t wait until you’re basically asleep.  
> Also me: *sleeps all day*
> 
> Sorry for dialogue only, but I’m very tired and feeling very lazy.

“Tony, I can’t go out here. There are way too many people.” 

“It’s only the team, Rhodes, and Steve’s friend, Sam. That’s a total of seven people. Also, you haven’t left the lab in six days. That’s excessive, even for me. And I’m the king of staying in my lab.”

“If you’re the king, doesn’t that make me the queen?”

“It depends…are you willing to leave the lab?”

“For what?”

“It’s movie night.”

“What are we watching?”

“A Monster Calls. Don’t give me that look, it’s not about that kind of stuff.”

“You know I don’t like monster movies of any sort. Especially not-“

“Jekyll and Hyde, yes, I know.” 

“...it’s nothing scary, is it? The-“

“Jump scares make your heart accelerate, yes, I remember that too. Just stop worrying and go out, big guy.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. Or I’m revoking your lab privileges.”

“I hate you.”

“You totally love me, Bruce.”

“...Maybe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 22: Online


	22. 22: Online

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 22: Online

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made my family cry by showing them A Monster Calls.
> 
> #No_regrets
> 
> You guys should totally watch that movie. It was excellent, and the book was even better. I nearly died from the animation...

“Bruce?” Bruce quickly closed his laptop, setting it aside as Tony walked into the living room. 

“Yeah?” Bruce asked, biting his lip as Tony fixed him with a scrutinizing look.

“Did you start a Tumblr under the name Stannerlover103?” Tony’s eyebrow rose, and Bruce wiped off his glasses.

“No.” 

“Are you sure?” Tony’s eyebrow rose even higher, and Bruce just continued wiping his glasses, not meeting Tony’s eyes.

“Yep.”

“You’re lying.” Tony accused. 

“Nope.” Bruce put his glasses back on, giving Tony his most innocent grin.

“Should I be looking for Bird-brain?”

“Definitely.” Bruce nodded vigorously. 

“‘K, thanks for the tip.” Tony walked out of the room, and Bruce let out a sigh of relief. He waited about four seconds before opening his laptop and scrolling through his Tumblr feed. Tony didn’t suspect a thing.

“HA! CAUGHT YOU!” Tony screamed leaping back into the room, and Bruce screamed, dropping the laptop. 

“You think I wouldn’t know? I am online! I AM THE INTERNET!” Tony screeched, and Bruce shot a mournful glance at his now shattered laptop screen. 

“But Stanner…” He moaned as Tony continued to screech in victory in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 23: You won't believe it


	23. 23: You won’t believe it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 23: You won’t believe it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a pretty good day today 
> 
> Office AU!

“You won’t believe what happened.” Natasha said as a way of greeting as she walked into Tony’s cubicle, taking in the sight of Tony leaning back in his seat, feet up on his desk. “Feet off the desk, Stark.”

“What, spidey? Steve finally found a date?” Tony asked, removing his feet from the desk and sitting up. “Please tell me that Steve finally found a date. Preferably Bucky.”

“Nope. Barton’s trying to set up Banner and Thor. Says they’re both lonely. He managed to trap them under the mistletoe in the break room a few seconds ago, if you hurry you may be able to see them kiss.” 

“What?!” Tony immediately shot up from his desk, dashing from his cubicle to the break room in matter of seconds, finding Clint, and Wanda all chanting, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” while Steve and Sam gave them disapproving looks, and Thor and Bruce looked increasingly uncomfortable.

“I can’t, no offense, Thor, but-“ Bruce stammered, face burning as he looked from the blond to the mistletoe. 

“You have to! You’re under the mistletoe!” Wanda said, pushing Bruce into Thor’s chest. 

“No offense taken.” Thor rumbled, awkwardly trying to move away. 

“HEY!” Tony yelled, and the chanting immediately became quiet as he stormed into the room, pushed Thor away, and kissed Bruce. 

“That’s my boyfriend!” He screamed, once he pulled away, and then stormed back out often break room, leaving a red-faced Bruce to clean up the mess with a satisfied smirk on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 24: #lessonlearnt


	24. 24: #lessonlearnt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 24: #lessonlearnt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays just in advance. I don't know if I'll have time to update tomorrow.

_“#lessonlearnt, this new hashtag started by Stark Industries owner and the Avenger, Iron Man, Tony Stark is taking the United States by storm after this video was released yesterday on the official Avengers YouTube channel. It shows fellow Avenger, Clint Barton, Hawkeye, being chased by the Hulk, who is holding an enormous snowball, at a top secret training site._ ”

* * *

"Hey, Doc.” Clint leaped out of a tree, sending snow everywhere, and landing right next to the physicist. The curly-haired man jumped, but upon seeing the archer, calmed down.

“Hey Clint,” Bruce responded, looking back at his original point of focus. Tony and Steve were sparring, and Tony had been beating Steve, at least until Bruce looked away. Clint shifted next to him, and Bruce glanced at him. He wasn’t doing anything of interest, so Bruce looked back.

Natasha had now joined the fight, teaming with Tony, and sweeping Steve’s legs out from under him.

Suddenly, Bruce felt a whole bunch of wet and cold go down his shirt. He let out an unmanly sounding yelp, stepping backward, which was when he was pelted in the face by at least ten snowballs and he fell in a heap, very cold, and very, very angry.

“Clinton Francis Barton, what have you done?” Tony asked, distracted all he saw was his boyfriend go down in a heap. He barely dodged as Steve’s shield, and then didn’t dodge the return as he saw the Hulk emerging from the snow behind Clint.

“Holy shit, I swear it was an accident,” Clint yelled to the Hulk, but the green giant wasn’t listening as he scooped up an amazing amount of snow in his hands.

“Run Clint, run!”

Clint began running like he had never run before.

* * *

“Really Stark? #lessonlearnt?”

“You still have snow up your asscrack, don’t you?” Tony replied, smirking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 25: Bless you 
> 
> (my god, possible another sick fic?)


	25. 25: Bless You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 25: Bless You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double post today since I wasn't on yesterday. I can't believe December is almost over.

Tony sneezed, sending half-chewed noodles flying out of his mouth. 

“Ugh. Bless you,” Bruce muttered in disgust, wiping noodles off the front of his shirt. “I know you have a cold, but would it kill you to cover your mouth when you sneeze?”

“What would be the fun in that? It’d be fun if we were sick together,” Tony said, blowing his nose into a tissue, and trying to make a basket with it. He missed.

“No, it really wouldn’t,” Bruce replied, picking up the tissue and placing it next to the already overflowing trash can.

“But it totally would be! Then we could spoon and lay in bed all day.” Tony pouted, sniffling. 

“Isn’t that what we already do on Saturdays?” 

“You’re gonna make me cry, Brucie.” Tony sniffled again, looking up at Bruce with big, watery eyes. 

“Stop trying to use your cold to make me feel bad. God knows you couldn’t cry, even if a snake bit you,” Bruce teased gently, pouring salt into a glass of water and stirring it around.

“I’d cry if it bit my dick off,” Tony laughed until he coughed, wiping his eyes. “Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.” 

“Here. This should help with your sore throat.” Bruce handed Tony the cup of water, and he took a long sip, gulping down the water.

“Oh ew, that’s salty,” Tony coughed, screwing his face up. “Ah, gross.”

“Tony! You weren’t supposed to drink it!” Bruce exclaimed, snatching the cup back from Tony. “I was going to bring you a dispensable cup to spit in.”

“Oh. I guess that makes a bit more sense.” 

Bruce let out an exasperated sigh. “Next time I’m just going to give you cough drops.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I did another one of these one writing a day prompts in like May or something, would you guys read it?
> 
> Next- Day 26: Naughty


	26. 26: Naughty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 26: Naughty (aka the lab sex incident)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lowkey related to day 12. 
> 
> "The lab exploded, Tony." 
> 
> Kinda smutty! Almost got too sexy for PG-13

“Hey Bruce,” Tony whispered, pressing into Bruce’s back and eliciting a surprised gasp from the shorter man.

“Tony! I thought you were getting back tomorrow.” Bruce tried to turn around to face his boyfriend, but the engineer refused to give him enough space to turn around, just keeping him boxed in. The only space to go anywhere was forward, towards the table.

“Um...Tony. Plan on letting me go anytime soon? I-”

“I've heard you were pretty naughty while I was gone. Procrastinated, got drunk, flirted…” Tony cut Bruce off, nibbling on Bruce’s ear, and ever so slowly rocking back and forth against Bruce’s ass, making the physicist very aware of his excitement.

“For the last time Tony, I wasn't flirting. Steve and I were just two guys hanging out.” Bruce sighed, trying his best to ignore Tony.

“Did you forget who you belong to?” It came out as a lustful growl; Tony was now licking his neck.

“Seriously Tony, I- ah god.” Bruce forced himself to stop a moan as Tony bit him, gently pushing his boyfriend off and moving forward, away, very aware of the stirring interest from his groin. “N-not right now. I-”

“Just calm down, babe. It'll be quick and you can get back to whatever nerdy stuff you were doing. I've just missed you so much.” Tony insisted, pulling Bruce’s hips back and continuing to thrust, although they were both clothed. Bruce sighed again, rolling his eyes.

“Fine, quickly. But shouldn't we go to the bedroom?”

“No. I'm gonna take you here and now.” Tony’s arms snaked around Bruce to the front of his pants, undoing the button and zipper and fluidly pulling down both his pants and underwear-

_Beep beep beep_

Shrill beeping erupted from one of the machines and Bruce cursed his forgetfulness. “Tony! Let go now! I gotta turn it off!”

Tony reluctantly pulled back, and Bruce stumbled over to the machine, not bothering to pull up his pants. “Fuck.” He muttered once he saw the reading. “It's gonna blow!”

“What the hell were you-” Bruce tackled Tony to the ground, ignoring his question, right as the machine exploded, sending pieces of metal and sparks everywhere.

“Go!” Tony didn't need to be told twice, getting to his feet and running out the lab door, Bruce on his tail. They had barely made it out the door when a muffled _boom_ came from inside the lab.

“Flammable chemicals?” Tony sounded shocked at the whole turn of events.

“Yeah.” Bruce was just resigned. It wasn't the worst thing that could have happened.

“What happened? Jarvis said there was an explosion?” Steve was rushing down the hall, shield at his side. Clint and Natasha were just behind.

“Lab sex,” Tony explained, and Clint burst out laughing, Steve turned bright red, and Natasha just smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 27: The day after


	27. 27: The day after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 27: The day after
> 
> TW: Implied rape, non-consensual drug use

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied rape, non-consensual drug use
> 
> *shrugs* I just felt like writing something dark.

“You know, I want to tie your pretty little dick up.” Tony slurred, walking into the bedroom.

Bruce looked up, disappointment clear on his face. “Tony, we have to talk about what happened earlier.”

“But Bruce-” Bruce cut Tony off with a strong shake of his head, standing up from the bed to confront the engineer.

“You were all over the news-”

“It was an accident, I swear. Can we please have sex?” Tony pulled Bruce closer, kissing him on the lips sloppily.

“Tony, no! We cannot have sex. You were literally drunk off your ass. You kissed six models.” Bruce pushed Tony away, stepping back as the other stepped forward.

“I’m still drunk, actually. Sex. Now.”

“I just said- Tony, get off me!” Bruce hissed as Tony pushed him against the bed, nuzzling his neck and pulling at his pajama pants.

“C’mon Bruce. It’ll be fun.” Tony purred, pupils dilated, which was when Bruce felt a mixture of uneasiness and anger. His pupils definitely weren’t supposed to be that large. Perhaps he was drugged? That would explain a bit.

“Tony no, I fucking said no.” Bruce attempted once more to push Tony off, which was when anger erupted in his boyfriend’s eyes. “Well, I say yes.”

* * *

Morning Bruce.” Tony yawned, blinking slowly as he opened his eyes. He had a splitting headache, which was odd because he didn’t remember drinking at all last night. He was in his bed. Interesting.

“Morning.” Bruce was already up, sitting on the edge of the bed. His head was in his hands, clutching his hair.

“What happened last night?” Tony asked, and Bruce looked back, face tired and worn.

“Someone drugged your drink. Then you came home and went to bed.”

“That…what happened?” Bruce looked more unhappy than Tony had ever seen him since the battle of New York.

“That can’t be right. I-I can’t remember.”

“The day after...being drugged...is generally the worst. I’d know from experience.”

With that, Bruce got up. As he took a slow pace out of the room, wincing every couple of steps, Tony couldn’t help but feel horrible.

Yet, he had no idea what he had done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 28: Water


	28. 28: Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 28: Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm out of inspiration for this story.

“Why do we have to go to the pool?” Tony complained, dragging his feet as he neared the edge.

“Because Natasha likes to swim and she threatened to take away my shield,” Steve said.

“And my arrows,” Clint added.

“And my hammer.” Thor clutched his hammer as he walked, and Natasha smirked.

“Well, I hate water.” Tony sighed, looking at the pool in disgust. 

“Just try to relax, Tones.” Bruce patted Tony on his back. “If you need me, I’m in the bathroom.” 

There was nothing except for the calm rippling of water as Tony sat at the edge of the pool as Thor slowly swam around the pool, trying to tag Steve.

That was when Natasha and Clint exchanged a sneaky look, and Tony screeched as two hands wrapped around his ankles.

“Don’t do it!” Bruce started running up to the poolside, eyes wide as the two pulled Tony in. They were obviously expecting him to come laughing, but he came up screaming, launching himself out of the pool in a matter of seconds.

He was hyperventilating, soaking wet, and everyone was staring at him. He hated the pool. He hated the water. He wasn’t there. There was no cave, no wires, no-

“Tony?” Bruce asked, face full of concern, and Tony ran, not looking back, the memories too much to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 29: Puzzle Pieces


	29. 29: Puzzle Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 29: Puzzle Pieces

"Six to eight years? I finished it in minutes!”

“Good job, Tones.” Bruce tried not to laugh as he saw his boyfriend sitting over a children's puzzle, probably one of Clint’s. This week’s villain had attempted to kidnap and drug Steve, but failed miserably somehow hitting Tony instead.

“Damn right.” Tony preened like a peacock. “I wanna show Pepper. I'm doing actual work.”

“Of course you are.” Bruce nodded seriously, getting out his phone and texting in the Avengers group chat.

**Bruce: I hate all of you. He's doing children’s puzzles and wants to call Pepper.**

**Clint: u r the only 1 of us who can keep a str8 face**

**Natasha: When cap laughed, he cried**

**Steve: I. STOP. Thought. STOP. We. STOP. Weren't. STOP. Going. STOP. To. STOP. Talk. STOP. About. STOP. That. STOP.**

**Clint: y u txt like that Stevo**

**Steve: Tony. STOP.**

**Bruce: You did make him cry.**

**Steve: He. STOP. Did. STOP. Two. STOP. Weeks. STOP. Ago. STOP.**

Bruce quickly put his phone away before he could laugh.

“I lost a piece, Bruce!”

God, he hated the team so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 30: Feint


	30. 30: Feint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 30: Feint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearly done! Sad to see the end, but glad too. Writing is hard.

_Sparring practice was so boring_ , Tony thought watching Clint and Natasha practice. _Their sparring was more like a tango than actual fighting_ , Tony sighed, watching them dart around each other, quick blows landing frequently. Finally, Steve blew the whistle and they stopped, stepped back, and left the mat. Steve nodded appreciatively, then said, “Stark, your turn.”

“Why do I have to go? Bruce doesn't have to go because of big green. I have the suit, so I shouldn't have to.” Tony protested. “Plus, I know how to box decently.”

Steve fixed him with an unimpressed look, and Tony sighed once more. “Fine. I choose Bruce.”

“I don't want to.” Bruce said quickly, and Steve considered it before seeing the _you see?_ look that Tony was giving him.

“Bruce, you're part of the team and therefore a valid choice. Go.”

“Kick his ass, Bruce!” Clint cheered as the physicist stood up and reluctantly walked to the mat. Tony snorted. He was pretty sure that the one person he was better than at hand to hand combat on the team was Bruce.

“No trash talk, no biting, clawing, and no groin kicks. You have three minutes. Ready-”

  
Tony shifted back into a boxer’s stance. “Set-”

  
Bruce awkwardly put his hands up, slightly mimicking Tony's stance, but different. More shifted.

“Go!”

They were circling now, neither of them really wanting to strike first. “C'mon, big guy, try it,” Tony said lowly, smirking at Bruce. To his surprise, Bruce smirked back.

“Only if you're sure.” With that Bruce moved into striking range, but as Tony jabbed at him, he moved out of the way, still keeping in range. He was almost swaying, like a cobra. The motion was awfully distracting as Tony went in for another strike to the chest, but Bruce seemed to duck under his fist and hit him lightly in the stomach in just a few seconds.

 _He's slippery_. Tony feinted to the left, going right last minute, sure that would trip him up, and sure enough, Bruce flinched, eyes going wide. _Got him!_ _Then_  Bruce punched Tony hard in the jaw.

 _Holy shit_. Tony stumbled, then retreated, grabbing his jaw. “Owwww! Bruce! What the fuck!” He exclaimed once he was sure he was a safe distance away. He was not expecting that, an apparently neither was Steve as the blond actually dropped the whistle, mouth gaping.

“Oh my God Tony, I'm so sorry! It was instinctive!” Bruce rushed over to Tony, apologies spewing from his mouth. “Are you okay?”

“Bruce, why didn't you tell me that you could fight?” Tony asked, still rubbing his jaw. “That's actually really hot!”

Clint laughed, but Natasha elbowed him until he shut up.

“Match is over. Bruce wins. Tony, go get some ice…” Steve winced as Tony got off the mat and strode out of the sparring room, clutching his jaw and Bruce following him, apologizing profusely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next- Day 31: 3, 2, 1...


	31. 31: 3, 2, 1...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 31: 3, 2, 1...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the last chapter. This concludes the year and this story!

_10_

Thor leaps onto the couch.

_9_

Natasha settles down next to the demigod.

_8_

Clint follows Natasha, talking animatedly.

_7_

Steve shakes his head but follows the archer.

_6_

Bruce walks into the living room, eyes settling on the TV.

_5_

Tony sneaks up on Bruce and wraps his arms around him.

_4_

Thor laughs as Bruce pulls Tony to his side, presumably for easier access.

_3_

The team waits in anticipation.

_2_

Mere seconds.

_1_

Tony and Bruce kiss. Clint wolf-whistles, and Steve, Thor, and Natasha cheer as a New Year begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments that I got on this, and I sincerely hope to see you all in May next year for writing prompts!
> 
> Happy New Year!
> 
> -Pine


End file.
